Life swings crazily from “I’ve got this!” to “I’ve lost it!”  Or, is it just me?

I was crushing it in January and February!  I believed I could manifest my own destiny through hard work, persistence, good habits and good karma.  But March trounced me!  All those rosy- tinted visions of fashioning my own path seemed to get crushed between the grist mill of someone else’s agenda and my own incompetence.

I began to consider the various scenarios of surrender, the scenes in which I simply give up the struggle for identity and personal meaning.  The allure of simply floating on the current of complacency can seem attractive when I feel battered by swimming upstream.  But my inner warrior simply didn’t tolerate this melodramatic blathering.  I am not one to give up readily and today is not the day to change that.  So… what did I need to find the strength to continue?

I found my answer- “embrace the power of ritual.”  The use of personal rituals can help calm disorder and provide the moment of calm my spirit needs to proceed through the chaos.  I have a number of rituals that I perform daily- like rising early to journal before starting the day.  Or a daily check-in with my hubby in the early evening before dinner when we share a beer, some music, and some conversation.

Lately, I have been building a new ritual in my studio space.  Painting comes from a place of calm and happiness for me.  But too often the urgency of the mundane muddles my senses or the turbulence of troublesome times steals the focus I need to paint.  When conversations that I need to have play themselves out in my head and the never-ending to-do list scrolls across the back of my eyeballs, I lean into this new ritual I am building to find a moment of respite.  I light a candle or incense to lend a little ambience and formality.  I spend a few moments quieting my breath, slowing my heartbeat, dwelling on my intention, and asking the collective universe to guide my hand.  I open my Art Journal and then I am ready to begin painting.  Sometimes it is an online lesson, sometimes it is a project, and sometimes it is just play.

I have set aside larger personal projects to focus on some smaller projects for Carney Fest and Cohlmia’s Spring Fest.  These projects find me spending hours curled up on the sofa with my iPad or hunched over my computer screen in the office.

I am working on two projects for Carney Fest inspired by the legendary Leon Russell.  I have liked Leon Russell’s music since I was a sophomore in high-school and have seen him perform a couple of times.  And “Tightwire” is definitely my favorite Leon song!  “Like a rubber-neck giraffe, You look into my past…”  This line sings itself out in my head on repeat; so it is no surprise that I would create a giraffe image!  And the top hat  is a Leon Russell icon!  The giraffe is still a WIP, but you can see the hat here.    

Come see me April 29th at Cohlmia’s Flowers.  There will be local artists and vendors, music, and food trucks!