This blog post has been difficult to write. I have started over more times than I can recall. Some months it seems to write itself. Other months I search a little harder for the precise words, the kernel of meaning, or just the right tone. After numerous failed attempts this month, I ‘m simply going to say what’s on my mind and in my heart and move on with the faith that next month’s letter will come more naturally.
I published a post on Easter weekend with no inkling that life in our household was about to experience a small tectonic shift. The Saturday of Easter weekend, Django died, joing Carter who passed over the rainbow bridge in January 2022. Carter had been ill and frail for awhile. Django, on the other hand, was a 15 year old puppy most days. His sudden illness and passing has left us in a state of quiet but noticeable bereavement. For the first time in 26 years there is no dog curled with us on the sofa, no wagging tail and happy bark to greet us at the door. There is no longer the need to “watch our step” in the backyard or rubberband the pantry door shut- yet we still do those things.
But grief is part of love and itnegral to this cycle of energy that cradles us all. And so I have leaned into the ache knowing that time pauses for no one.
On a more positive note, Cohlmia’s Springfest was a jungle of fun! Thank you to all who stopped by to say “hello!” and congratulations to Cali who won a free mini print. I am excited to welcome new faces to this newsletter/blog. Please excuse the somber tone this month. It’s definitely an outlier.
In the Studio
This quick watercolor portrait of Django resides in my watercolor sketchbook. The portrait of Carter on the right is also in a sketchbook dating back a few years. They are not polished and their flaws are apparent. In the case of Django’s, it was my attempt to face the reality of his absence through art without judgement or performance pressure.
Last month I dedicated my studio time to preparing for Carney Fest and Cohlmia’s. For the next couple months I am looking forward to spending time learning, experimenting, and playing with the ideas percolating in my head. I have more ideas than time! After a brief period of personal painting, I will begin creating original watercolors to stock in my shop. Even now I am playing with different presentation techniques. The sparrow and stylized flower composition pictured at the top of this post is nearing completion. Once I am finished painting, I will seal it with a UV protectant spray, affix it to a wooden gallery board, and coat it with wax buffed to a soft sheen. It will then go to Hummingbird Fine Craft to look for a permanent home. My newsletter readers will be the first to know!
What I’m Reading
The Office of Historical Corrections by Danielle Evans
April blew in with such ferocity this year!My doorways have been moaning for weeks on end- a slightly eery sound that I have begun to liken to Moaning Myrtle.If you have never heard your house “sing” before, I will explain.The wind comes through the gaps with such strength that it causes the copper flashing to vibrate and intonate.The first time I heard it, nearly 19 years ago, I was home alone with my babies while my husband was away on a business trip.It frightened me until I was able to process what was happening.But I digress.Resuming….
As I sat down to write today I reviewed my posts from 2022 and I startled myself with how much I wanted to share with you.I have let more time slip by than I intended.So, please, pause here to grab a cup of tea, a glass of wine, or perhaps a cookie and a glass of milk.But get comfortable and let’s catch up!
In January I shared my Intentions for 2022 and it is important to me that I continue that conversation.Accountability.I set these five intentions for 2022:
Eat more veggies!
Keep a cleaner garden.
Become more disciplined in my approach to learning.
Learn to create process videos.
Create free downloads for my website subscribers BEFORE March!
Let me start with Number 5-I’m a little late, but I have done it!I have created my first free download for you.It is only the first; you can plan on more.When visitors sign up to receive email from me they will be taken to a Thank You page where they can download the freebie.Those who are already on my mailing list will receive a separate email with their link.This first freebie is a bookmark.I haven’t decided how long the free bookmark will be available, so download it when you receive the email. If you have troubles with the download or you don’t receive your email, just let me know. I will post a follow-up blog entry with suggestions for how to print your bookmark.
Flowering Quince Bookmark
Plant Babies!
New Art! “Hummingbird with Screen”
Number 4-Sadly, I haven’t even BEGUN to tackle this one.Let’s get that garden growing first!
Number 3-Becoming more disciplined in my approach to learning has been a biggie for me.Sometimes I feel like I am stalling out-but when I grant myself a little grace and look at my work with objectivity I see great strides here.I have spent considerable time painting birds lately under the tutelage of several self-guided classes with differing approaches and strengths.The instructor in me says I haven’t earned an A- yet.But, I will get there!
Number 2-Oh My!In order to keep a cleaner garden, I have to clean it first!The ideal time would have been Winter- but if you know me, you know I hibernate when the weather is anything less than 68 degrees F.So, that leaves Spring.And if you are a parent, or remember parenting school-aged children (or adults), then you remember how your calendar can simply explode overnight!
My son is a Senior in high school and just attended prom this past weekend.Graduation events are beginning to fill the calendar.Soccer matches have begun to populate the little white squares.And in between grass fires, weird cold snaps, and the occasional promise of severe storms, I know the garden is calling!But each day only holds 24 hours and I demand to sleep at least 7 of them, so something gets ignored each day.
In the past I have delayed gardening until the last possible minute holding onto the fear of losing seeds and seedlings in Spring Flash Floods or odd late frosts.This year won’t be much different.I have begun to clean out last year’s crops, but I haven’t finished.We haven’t even turned on our irrigation system yet.The baby plants are thriving in my studio nursery.I have sown a few seeds outside, with disappointing results.If the wind wasn’t bad enough, the squirrels immediately dug up the fresh soil.The morning after planting seeds I discovered holes dug all over my cleared beds!
Last-1.Eat more veggies!Do convenience salads count?We haven’t made a heap of progress here-but, if you recall, the whole point of setting Intentions instead of Resolutions is to emphasize the PROCESS or the journey.I have eaten a few extra salads, which is easier as it becomes increasingly warmer.
Your turn-Did you set any Intentions, or resolutions, this year?Did you share them with anyone?If not, I invite you to share them with me.You can include them in a comment or send me an email.I would love to return the favor of being your accountability partner.
Hello, my name is Renee and I am an online-class junkie. I have spent thousands of dollars on classes and subscriptions and BOOKS. Wait- I don’t think this is the debilitating condition that plagues me. Under closer scrutiny, it is not an addiction to purchasing self-learning tools, but rather a refusal to commit to the process that has dampened the joy in my art life. I purchase all these classes and books to learn but then I fail to commit to the learning process.
Periodically I interrogate my inferior self- “Why don’t you follow through? Do you think you know more than the instructor? Are you too good for those exercises? Or is it just that you know you are going to fail? You are afraid that you will follow along to the letter and your bird, or portrait, or tonal strip is going to be shit!” My inferior self winces, squeezes her ears shut against the harsh line of questioning and begins whimpering… “No. I don’’t think I am too good. I just ran out of time. I am too tired at the end of the day. I can’t stay focused- there are too many other things clamoring for my attention.”
Weak excuses that all harbor a bit of truth. But that doesn’t mean I should hand all my power over to them. So- this year I intend to take my power back!
In my last blog entry, I mentioned that in place of “resolutions” I have made intentions. A resolution seems to imply a 180 degree change in behavior. In my mind, the word intention implies that there is more room to make the turn and more than one way to succeed. Because I am so easily lured off the path I have set one of my 2022 intentions to become more disciplined in my approach to learning.
Being aware that I have strayed is the first step. It sounds obvious and easy, but how often have you set out to respond to a text or email only to discover an hour later that you have been watching cute kitten videos on Tiktok for the last 45 minutes? Now cute kitten videos are rarely my nemesis, but you get the picture.
In January I set out to complete a very simple watercolor class on Skillshare. I have managed to follow along- but only by self correcting over and over again. It has taken me WEEKS to get through the class. As I immersed myself in the painting process one evening, I became self-aware. I noticed when the impatience began to set in. And then I talked myself down. I reminded myself that I enjoy getting lost in the process when I permit myself to do so. Until I become a competitive sprinter- time is not important. Who cares how long it takes me to finish the project, or a simple flower?!
How often do I fail to follow through because I do not give myself permission to surrender to time? I think this should be my mantra for February- Surrender to time. Surrender to process.
In the Studio
I embarked on this Folk Art journey for three reasons: 1. to practice following through 2. I wanted to use folk art flowers in my current project 3. simplifying forms is difficult for me.
In addition to playing with folk art, I created “Siracha” (a working title) from inked line work to digital painting. I will post the finished piece next week. I am super excited by it!
In the Shop
You can find Valentine’s in my Hummingbird Fine Craft shop. Coming this month… new travel cups. I have restocked the scissortail travel cup and will be introducing two new ones to the shop- “You Make My Heart Sing” and “Scissortail Flycatcher with Rose Rocks”.
For other products or if you don’t live in Tulsa, be sure to check out the Society6 shopping tab under the Shop menu at the top.
In the Kitchen
With snow on the ground, it’s a great time to make bread and use what’s in the freezer! Today I revived summer with a batch of Roasted Tomato Soup with garden “fresh” tomatoes from the freezer.
Roast frozen whole tomatoes drizzled with olive oil in oven at 425 for 15-20 minutes. Drizzle sweet onion slices and cloves of garlic with oil and add to tomato pan. Increase temp to 450 and roast for 20-30 minutes until onions are golden brown. I then add this pan of gooey goodness to a pot with homemade beef broth (or chicken), 4 TBSP butter, and bay leaves. Simmer for 30-40 minutes. Remove bay leaves, season, add 1/2 Cup or so of chopped fresh basil and use immersion blender to create smooth soup. Add in some milk or cream to finish it. My fresh Basil came from my counter-top Pod Garden.
Add a loaf of Sour Dough Bread with Cracked Pepper, Rosemary, and Walnuts and you have the perfect snow-day supper! A few years back I took a bread baking class with Cat Cox and it has been money and time well-spent! Using her techniques and basic instructions, I have created countless creative loaves of bread- all stunning and irresistible! If you get a chance and you are in Tulsa, take a class with @CatCoxBaker!
The scissortail flycatcher, the blanket flower, and the Eastern redbud represent Oklahoma’s natural beauty. The sun image is a nod to our Native American heritage and represents hope.
Details of the Scissortail, Indian Blanketflowers, and Eastern Redbud.
I have gone to ground for the past month as I prepare for my very first live booth event! About a month ago I got the opportunity to participate in a one day outdoor event- and I leapt at the chance. Let me clarify this by stating that I leapt into it the same way I leap into a body of water knowing it will be cold. I held my breath and it felt a little as though I had stepped off a ledge when I clicked the “send” button.
It sounds foolish when I say that aloud. I can list hundreds of intimidating things I have embraced in my life- years on the stage, entering a strange high-school as a young substitute teacher time and again, teaching, earning my Shotokan brown belt, competing in karate tournaments, and birthing two babies. These are scary experiences, especially to the uninitiated. So I had to turn inward to ask “why the hesitation”?
Was I scared that I couldn’t “do it”? Nonsense. Like anything else, the act of showing up is a simple mechanical process of putting one foot in front of the other. And while the list of things I must accomplish in four weeks to prepare was long, by simply doing one thing and then moving on to the next, I knew it was manageable. So this could not be the cause of my faltering.
Was I afraid of what others would say or think? Sadly, there was a little truth in this. My HEAD knows my family and friends will encourage me and want me to do well. But there remains a small but VOCAL demon within that shouts at me. “They will think you are a delusional child. They are just patronizing you. They know that when you fall on your face you will give up this stupid charade and move on.” Insert the maniacal laugh of your choosing here.
But the fear of looking like the fool to my family was not the only thing holding me back. There was still something else- and I knew it was my fear of complete failure. What if NO ONE stopped at my booth? What if no one bought any of my art? What if I have been wasting my time? And that is where I stopped myself.
I had let something get in the way of my joy. When I sit down and create it comes from a place of joy, every time. I cannot think of a single time I have created from a space of sadness, loneliness, or anger. I admire artists who can harvest these raw emotions and the artists who use their canvas to expose the evils of the world and push for change. But my art journey thus far has remained an expression of joy, admiration, and awe. Allowing the fear of judgement into the arena ties my hands. How can I mine the joy if I am only concerned with how many people are following my Instagram, reading this blog, or liking my FB posts?
So I purposely set aside the social media and the paint. I picked up my pencil and sketchbook, I enrolled in some new online classes, and I immersed myself in the process of simply creating and learning. I LOVE learning. I am not the fastest learner and my retention sucks- but I love expanding my horizons. I have submitted to notion that whatever happens on May 8th, it does not determine my relationship to art. Only I can affect that. And if I crash and burn on May 8th, my family will not see a failure, but a woman who is committed, determined, and persistent. And I can think of no better lesson for my children.
I am still a little nervous about May 8, but I am a body in motion and I am hurtling towards May 8th with renewed vigor and enthusiasm. I am looking forward to seeing people and introducing my creative efforts to them. If you live in Tulsa and feel safe venturing out, I hope you will stop by my booth and say “Hello”. For information, check out this link- https://saltandsoulmarket.com/birthday-bash/.
The event is the Salt & Soul Birthday Bash and it will be at the Broken Arrow Brewing Company May 8 from 3pm-8pm. If you are still unfamiliar with Salt&Soul it is an online market featuring Oklahoma vendors. I have a shop there and after May 8 I will be loading new items into my shop as Salt&Soul exclusives- meaning they will not be listed here on my website but must be purchased through Salt&Soul.
Persist in joy, my friends.
In
The
Studio
Clowning in the Garden or Clownfish in Chrysanthemums. Watercolor.
This began as an exercise in painting chrysanthemums but the undulating petals morphed into anemones in my mind’s eye. Where there are anemones, there are clownfish. We have five bubble tipped anemones and two black and white clownfish at home. Little fish with big personalities!
Male purple finch in gouache from my watercolor sketchbook.
Vector artwork- the Tulsa Driller holding hops. This is a coaster design which I will debut on May 8.
Pattern created featuring the Oklahoma motifs. Another example of vector artwork.
Staying with the Oklahoma theme, I painted a vintage gas pump. Watercolor.
For many, the holidays consist of a series of days marked by frenetic busy-ness and large doses of overstimulation. The long lists of gifts to buy, food to cook, rooms to clean and decorations to set out effectually become blinders, narrowing our vision to the tunneled exposure of the task at hand.
What spots?
I wear such blinders more often than not, but this Thanksgiving the pandemic changed the narrative. There was still cooking to be done and the impending impact of Christmas to consider, but I began to examine my relationship to Thanksgiving, and in turn to the many other ritualized moments of our lives.
When I began to examine my reaction to a covid-altered Thanksgiving, I had to go back to the beginning. What was Thanksgiving to me? And only when I took Thanksgiving out of its present context could I begin to grasp my relationship to it.
For me Thanksgiving will always be at my Grandmother’s, with my Nanny, grandfather, parents, sister, and step-siblings. With women working together in the kitchen to bring together the last minute details and my dad grumbling about the green-bean casserole, again. It was red ice-cubes made of frozen Hawaiian Punch served with 7-Up. The grown-ups always ate at the kitchen table and the rest of us ate around a game table. This was my Rockwell-worthy Thanksgiving, and it could ONLY reside in the past.
This year we experienced our first Thanksgiving meal as a family of four at our own table. I set out my wedding china and crystal to commemorate the special occasion. I looked at my children, tall, self-aware, teetering on the brink of adulthood, and I wondered what their Rockwell-worthy Thanksgiving would look like when they too stood on the hill of mid-life looking back.
That’s the thing about memories; they surprise us. We can’t begin to know which moments will burn indelibly into our beings, becoming defining experiences against which all others are measured.
Psychedelic Poinsettias: An infinitely repeating pattern inspired by my childhood in the early 1970’s.
In the Studio
I have been bouncing around in the studio between small sketchbooks and larger canvases. I have smeared acrylic with my fingers, experimented with gouache, created digitally, and played in watercolor, of course.
I am addicted to the process of learning and am simultaneously working through an online perspective course, teaching myself how to create a website (thanks for hanging with me!), learning about gouache, and working through an online course to encourage a more intuitive creative process.
One of my small victories has been a long time coming- my own online shop. Currently I am offering greeting cards as I ease into this new adventure. I will be offering small prints in the near future as well. If you haven’t seen the shop, be sure to check it out by clicking on Shop in the Navigation menu.
Some of the season’s art experiences have found their way into my Society6 store- check out my Steampunk Snowmen, my Holiday Anglerfish, and the Psychedelic Poinsettias (Society6 in the Navigation menu).
And if you shop locally, I am excited to be a part of Salt and Soul- an online market in Tulsa featuring local goods, arts, and services.
“Best thing since sliced bread!”- or in my case, cold cuts! Why do I overlook the humble cold cut sandwich for dinner? No stove, no oven, no dishes, no worries! And that means more time to make art. And goodness knows I need as much time as I can get this month. The first week has been a whirlwind-
I have experienced so much in the first week of Inktober that I know October 31 will find me much improved. And the promise of growth motivates me to keep going! Many experienced artists advise new Inktober participants to be easy on themselves, plan projects that work within their time constraints, and don’t fret missing a day. Well- that’s not me. To play with Eliot’s immortal words, if I goof up this Inktober, I will “go out with a bang- not a whimper!”
To that end- each and every composition I have created this week relies on a calligraphy brush. Not a marker, or fineliner, or even a nib. I am familiarizing myself with a few calligraphy brushes. I have added color with watercolor and photoshop when I could do so within the 24 hour deadline. But pushing to finish a piece so quickly leaves me feeling as though I could have done better. So, I have decided this month I will accrue a number of inked pieces which I can color later.
Each prompt includes the potential for surprise- and sometimes I need to remind myself of this. In the final days of September I created thumbnail sketches for a few of my favorite prompts. but other prompts caught me unaware and unprepared. Potted plant was one of those- and I surprised myself by creating two inked line drawings! Bird nest was one of my quick idea sketches and I executed it late one evening. The end result was “cute”- not my usual style. I hastily filmed a reel and posted to Pinterest. SURPRISE! Eighteen hours later I had over 2,000 views and a “like” from Ohn Mar Win. OMG! I didn’t see that coming!
So, now a surprise for you. I plan to give away one print from one of my Inktober drawings when Inktober is complete. How to enter? First- subscribe to this blog. Be sure to confirm your subscription. Then, simply respond to this post with a comment about one of my Inktober drawings. I will enter your name in the drawing. The winner will receive an 8×10 print. (If the winner resides outside of the continental United States, I will send a small mini-print instead.)
Enjoy the show! I’m off to stock up on cold cuts and sliced bread!
Flowering Quince Bookmark
Plant Babies!
New Art! “Hummingbird with Screen”
